A reflection to create meaningful change
Photo by Kalei de Leon on Unsplash
Every January, millions of Americans make resolutions, whether it’s to lose weight or learn a new skill. However, most of these are made by those under the age of 50. For those over 50, only about one-fifth of the population participates in New Year, New Me challenges. Perhaps it’s because we know that the date has little to do with genuine change, or maybe, we’ve simply accepted ourselves as we are.
In America, we think of a New Year’s resolution as a declaration to improve ourselves in some way. It might involve conquering an undesired habit or accomplishing a personal goal, but the common thread is the first day of a new year.
What might surprise you is where it all began.
The Origins of New Year’s Resolutions Are Found in Religion
It all started way back on New Year’s Day 45 BC, when the month of January was dedicated by the ancient Romans to their god Janus. According to History.com, religious Romans promised the two-faced god that they would be better in the new year than they had been in the past.
It continued, according to Now You Know Big Book of Answers, with many ancient tribes making promises to their gods at the start of each year to return borrowed objects and pay their debts.
During medieval times, knights took the “peacock vow” each year after Christmas to reaffirm their commitment to chivalry.
And, the tradition continues today.
The Religious Life at London explains that New Year’s resolutions are an extension of religious practices, and can be seen in rituals such as Christian watch night services.
Particularly in the Methodist denomination, the liturgy used for these services is called the Covenant Renewal Service, during which congregants renew their covenant with God. These services often include a rededication to working for social justice (The United Methodist Church).
It’s not just protestants, as Judaism’s New Year, Rosh Hashanah, shares a similar focus. During the High Holidays culminating in Yom Kippur (the Day of Atonement), individuals reflect on their wrongdoings over the year and both seek and offer forgiveness.
Self-Improvement Is Recognized Across Major Religions
New Year’s resolutions are about self-improvement, and there is always a reason we want to improve ourselves or our circumstances. This foresight is often referred to as having a dream, a vision for the future, or a plan.
Many religious texts emphasize the importance of having a vision for the future:
- In the book of Proverbs: “Where there is no vision, the people perish.”
- From the Baha’i faith: “Let your vision be world-embracing, rather than confined to your own self.”
- Ancient Sanskrit wisdom: “And every tomorrow [is] a vision of hope.”
Whether religious or not, the concept of reflecting on self-improvement, at least annually, is important for personal growth, self-awareness, and a sense of purpose.
Resolution and reflection
As religious practices evolved, resolutions were not just about improvement but also carried societal expectations, sometimes rooted in shame. These expectations often influenced individuals to conform to norms, shaping resolutions that reflected communal values rather than purely personal goals.
Today, and according to Statista, the top five resolutions of 2025 are already tallied as saving more money, eating healthier, exercising more, and spending more time with family.
These are all noble endeavors, but this year, I’m looking for a more soulful resolution — a reflection that will create meaningful change.
Suggestions for Soulful Resolutions
Emotional and Spiritual Growth: Reflect on resolutions that encourage nurturing relationships, forgiveness, and cultivating inner peace.
For example, in my life, I learned to strive for perfection in order to receive love. No matter how hard I tried, it didn’t work, but now I have this dumb habit.
So, my soulful resolution would look something like: This year, I will remind myself daily that I am worthy of love just as I am, and that striving for perfection only distances me from the connections I truly seek.
I’ll probably put it on a sticky note, place it on my bathroom mirror, and make it a mantra for the new year.
Forgiveness and Connection: Perhaps the connections with people you love are strained because of petty disputes. Reflect on resolutions that involve letting go of grudges, being kinder to yourself and others, or fostering community.
In my experience, I have to ask myself why I’m holding a grudge, because the truth is, we wouldnt be holding it if it weren’t doing something for us. Ask yourself, what is holding this grudge doing for me? It certainly isn’t being kinder to myself or others, and it isn’t fostering a healthy community.
Is it giving me some sense of control or protection of my self-worth? Is it an emotional outlet or am I just avoiding dealing with a problem? In truth, holding a grudge is doing nothing for us, but there is often the self-righteous illusion that keeps us hanging on.
If this is your predicament, consider the words of Benjamin Franklin: “Be at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let every new year find you a better man [or woman]” (Poor Richard’s Almanac, 1755).
I believe this quote to be the most powerful resolution you can make. Forgiveness, both given and received, can be the key to connection, and ultimately, a happier life.
Gratitude and Mindfulness: We all know that self-improvement is incremental, but 01/01 makes it feel monumental. However, no change is going to happen overnight. We tackle a mountain one step at a time. This means focusing on daily practices that promote presence and contentment.
If this is your goal, perhaps a good place to start would be with “I resolve to embrace stillness each morning, taking a few moments to reflect on what truly matters. By cultivating a mindset of gratitude, I will nurture inner peace and joy that no external success can provide.”
Resolutions that Align with Legacy: Soulful resolutions can also involve creating a meaningful legacy by passing down wisdom, fostering family bonds, or supporting causes close to your heart.
For example, a resolution might be: I resolve to share my story — whether by writing it down or simply opening up to my loved ones. My stories are gifts that inspire and guide future generations.
I consider the writing I do to be a legacy for my children. Right now, they aren’t terribly interested, but when I’m gone, they will feel differently. I know I did when my grandparents passed on. The only thing worse than the sadness of losing them is the regret of not spending more time with them and knowing them better.
One funny thing, in my adult children’s friend groups, country music is not well-known or loved. However, I passed down a deep-rooted love and knowledge of anything Appalachian and that covered Bluegrass, through Country & Western, all the way through to the country music resurgence of the 80’s. Their musical taste crosses all genres, and as musicians, they are well-respected, so when this funky country thing comes up, people are comically surprised.
The idea of the resolution is to be intentional. Family bonds don’t just happen — they are fostered.
Self-Improvement Through the Ages
Self-improvement is a major topic in today’s world, but it isn’t a new one. Humans throughout history have sought to improve themselves through religion and spiritual practices. While it’s true that organized religion often used shame as a means of control, perhaps early on, people were self-aware enough to face their shortcomings and hoped to improve by taking vows and making resolutions.
The bottom line is this: religious or not, you cannot run away from yourself.
It does not matter how far you run because there will come a time when all those unresolved emotions will surface, leaving you overwhelmed (Lifehack.com). Self-improvement is about no longer running but stopping to observe yourself — accepting what you love and changing what no longer serves you.
Concluding Thoughts
In my mind, self-improvement is a lot like learning. We should all strive to be lifelong learners, and self-improvement is no different. We can’t learn everything there is to know in a lifetime, and we can’t improve ourselves to perfection — but we can get better every day.
Make the typical New Year’s resolution that is forgotten on January 2, a time to reflect on soulful resolutions that will lead to impactful, possibly generational, change. Resolve to make peace with yourself, mend relationships that matter, and find joy in life’s simple pleasures. Take time to savor the quiet moments and embrace the wisdom that comes with experience.
These are the resolutions that truly transform us.
Thank you for joining me on this journey — let’s celebrate the smile lines we earn along the way.
My future articles will be published on Medium and also Substack. If you’d like what you read, please sign up to receive my newsletter, Smile Lines, on Substack.
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