We can rise above the ashes
I watched a TV show about Elon Musk and Space X’s quest to build a rocket that NASA could certify for space flight. The first three attempts ended with midair explosions.
What was interesting was the reactions of the scientists and technicians. The setback disappointed them. They didn’t hang their heads. They got busy and worked to correct the mistakes that led to the failures.
Mistakes happen, and how you react to them matters
Mistakes happen, they are inevitable but are critical for growth, learning, and success. You need to reframe failure. It’s not the end of the world.
I didn’t always feel that failure was a positive thing. I have had my share of failures. One Vocational Rehabilitation Counselor told me my “life was a legacy of failure.” He wasn’t wrong.
They can’t beat you unless you let them
Mistakes and failures will happen. They are not catastrophes unless you frame them that way. It took me a long time to figure that out, but it’s true.
In this story, I will talk about some of my failures. I will go into how I thought the world had ended with each one. I will also talk about how I’m learning to reframe those failures and talk to myself with a better attitude.
You have to accept and work with your limitations
My first mistake as an adult was not accepting my neurodivergence. If my parents hadn’t been set on beating it into my head with every failure and setback.
I didn’t want to fit in the box my parents put me into. My parents meant well. They overplayed the “Brain Damage” and “Dyslexia” Labels.
I never could learn a skill or keep a job as an adult. I was in my thirties when my parents insisted I get a security guard job. I was a guard for twenty years.
Lying to myself got me nowhere
I never accepted the fact that I had a problem. I felt I was in the wrong job for me and trial and error would lead me to the right career.
I still know in my heart that I could have had a more satisfying career. I could have done better than being a security guard. If I would have embraced the neurodivergence and was upfront with employers. They might have been more patient.
Tying my self-worth to employment wasn’t the best thing to do.
The firings destroyed my self-worth. That was the worst thing I allowed to happen. I didn’t understand or believe the talk about reframing. Controlling my thoughts and how I talked to myself if you tried to tell me about it I would have thought you were nuts.
I’m sixty-five years old and disabled. I bought into reframing and controlling my thoughts and it changed my life. It started when I took an online creative Writing Course. It continued when I started writing on Medium.com.
What you say to yourself matters
The third thing I did was I began calling myself a writer. I’m not a “Wannabe Writer” I’m not an “Aspiring Writer,” I’m a Writer. Once I started telling myself that, my writing improved. My Medium earnings increased. The next thing I knew I had a successful YouTube Channel.
Failure is not a loss of hopes and dreams. It’s a sign that you have to make changes. All my failures, the job losses, the eviction, and the three years of homelessness were lessons.
You have to own your mistakes and accept the lessons
They were all my fault, there’s no doubt about it. I learned that I’m not cut out for most jobs. I learned I need help with finances and I learned I need a wife to keep me straight.
Our rockets will explode mid-flight or on the launchpad. we need to be pragmatic and analytical. Examine the situation and reverse engineer the problem.
Final Thought:
We can learn so much and build a growth mindset. Elon Musk has a shot at going to Mars. How high will we go if we embrace a growth mindset and not let failure defeat us?
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