Nothing is more important to a tiny soul than feeling safe in their emotions.
My son will turn 4 this November, and I can surely tell you how fierce he is. In a good way, of course.
He is also very mature for his age. I am not saying this because he is my son, but really, he has personality traits of a 10 year old boy. He seems so settled in his personality.
He has a mind of his own. He has his own choices, and he knows how to negotiate, too(LOL).
He is so resilient and strong in his willpower that he doesn’t whine or cry like his fellow age kids would when he gets sick. Just now, he has been suffering with a really ugly viral for the past 4 weeks, and this boy has made us even more proud of him. The patience he is showing is phenomenal.
Here is what I have practised with my son and will do the same with my daughter:
Independent Play: Ever since he was a baby, we made sure he had his own independent play time. I used to leave him in his cot with toys and watch from a far every now and then. That is how he developed perfect pincer grip and really good hand to mouth coordination also.
Problem-Solving: Shahzain has been taught since very young age that he will try and give his best efforts first, and then Mumma will intervene if he needs further help. That way, he is now super independent in his play and other small chores that he does.
Initiate a Sense of Achievement by Getting Their Help in Chores: He takes pride in helping his Mumma. No matter what I am doing. I am either making the bed or mopping the floor. My ninja jumps right up to help. It can require you to be patient, too, but the sense of pride you see in your child’s eyes afterwards is so fulfilling.
Create Firm Boundaries: Initially, Shahzain used to have a tantrum when he was going through his terrible twos. But now he listens to me if I say no to something. If he wants chocolate, he can only have it after 6 he listens so patiently that it astonishes me every time he happily says OK to my Nos.
Validate Feelings: Nothing is more important to a tiny soul than feeling safe in their emotions.
When I was teaching Shahzain emotional regulation. I didn’t shy away from negative emotions like sadness and aggressiveness. I made sure I taught him these are valid feelings, and it’s okay to feel that way. That is how I was able to bring calmness in my boy’s little world.
I am a very conscious parent when it comes to my parenting techniques. Yes, I can be strict sometimes too, but my child knows that his mother would only want the best for him. He knows how much I love him, and he reciprocates wonderfully.
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