Unexpected Challenges
I never thought widow-wood would be a chapter in my story. Losing the one I loved shattered me my heart, not to mention my kids. I’ve become a father, and a provider, carrying responsibilities that felt far too heavy for one person to bear alone.
Another lesson God is teaching me-I DO NOT have to walk this road alone. I have been the strong one throughout my life and I convinced myself that I can carry everything on my own, without leaning on others. But, that is not what God called us to do.
The battles I’ve faced have been relentless and emotionally, financially, mentally as well as spiritually draining. There were days I wondered how I would make it through the night, and yet, I did. God never left my side and His presence carried me through my sleepless nights. His provision covered my children and me; and His peace guarded my mind when fear tried to consume me.
When My Light Began To Dim
Now, after years of struggling, I’m finally stepping into the career I wanted for such a long time. It’s finally here and I’m grabbing it with both hands. This should be a season of pure joy and, in many ways it is. I am excited and grateful for this opportunity and the responsibilities and full anticipation with what lies ahead.
But, underneath the joy, there’s still a quiet battle brewing. My old tendency of carrying everything on my own has resurfaced and I feel myself slipping. Once again I want to make things happen in my own strength. If I am honest, it’s draining my spirit. I fear that the light I once had is starting to flicker.
Surrendering In All Seasons
I realized that my faith is not just about clinging to God through my storms but surrendering all my troubles to Him in my calm seasons, too. It is very easy to depend on Him when I am desperate but, what about when I am capable? That is where God is challenging now. I must let go of my controlling nature and trust Him, even when things looks like they’re falling into place.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5,6. This verse is more than encouragement, it is an instruction. God does not want our partial trust, He wants my whole heart, in victory and in trial.
Our Strength Is Found In Community
He created us to be a community, to lift one another and, to help bear each others burdens. So, accepting help is not weakness-its humility, and obedience. Letting others prepare me for the trials that lies ahead is part of God’s way of strengthening me.
Choosing Trust Over Fear
I surrender my fears about the future
To let God lead me instead of rushing ahead
Accept help when it’s offered
Believe that His Grace is indeed enough for me
Hope For The Journey Ahead
My story is still being written and so is yours. If you are like me, and sometimes feel that your faith is weary, let me remind you that God is still busy writing the rest of your story. So, even when our light feels dim, His light doesn’t go out. His light shines brighter than the moon and all the stars and, it never dies.
He is our faithful father that is with us every second of the day and night. God is near and will carry us through every chapter, every season-including the ones we never saw coming. He is our omnipotent God who never sleeps nor slumbers.
So, keep moving and never lose hope-continue the good fight even that war that’s brewing inside of you. Trust Him- not only in the storm, but in the calm seas after it has settled. Let God breathe life back into your weary spirit. If you feel too weak to hold your flame, let Him carry it for you. He will never forsake you.
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