It is time to trust God to fulfil what He has promised! His timing is perfect, and He knows what He has promised.
How do you not know that you are pregnant? Are you really that daft? How could I, I never felt any movement nor was there any visible signs. I weighed 49kg at the time, still got my monthly menstruation like clock work, still puking my guts out like clockwork, and still having irregular fainting spells. Then there was the horrible back pain that was unbearable to live with. So no, how could I know that I was pregnant. For me, that was all normal.
I was used to that pain ever since it starting at the age of nine. I still remember it like yesterday. It happened unexpectantly and people of old didn’t talk much about this and in my case it was as if every question you ask to the eldest was just taboo. I sometimes wonder why they did this.For them however it was normal
I was 20 years old and working at a shoe factory and, I kept on fainting and vomiting but, for me that was normal. Why? That’s just how it was ever since I started menstruating.
That was the first year I went to live with my late mom and the little did I know that it would be the last. I was excited and happy that I was finally living with her but, I was also scared of what I knew would continue. My mom saw how much I enjoyed being close to her and showered me with love.
Yes, she loved me dearly and for many years I blocked out all of my memories of her. The only memory that stayed stuck was what I told her a few minutes after we parted and it was also the last time I saw her alive.
Moving forward
It happened at school and I thought I was busy dying when I saw all the blood. I couldn’t understand what was happening to my body because no one told me about these things. I cried a lot that day and the teacher tried to explain it to me. So, there I was bleeding and my mom was at work while all of this took place at the age of nine.
Still, no one talked about it or even why it happened so early. Then, years later when the doctors couldn’t find out what was wrong with me they did some tests and I had to attend Tygerburg hospital on a monthly basis. They couldn’t find out what was wrong. I vaguely remember them asking me lots of question about my health but I had no answers to their questions. You see, no one told me what was wrong with me.
They found out that I was anemic and that was that, but I still had to go for more tests every damn month due to irregular fainting and it increased as did the pain. By this time I was far ahead and my weight was still the same. For more that seven months it continued with no positive news. But then, then there was this new doctor, a different one who told them to do some blood tests.
When I went back for my next visit, another blood test was done and I had to wait again. It was only when I returned for the last visit that the doctor asked me if I was sexually active and then he/she wanted to know for how long. That is when I was told that I was pregnant and according to their calculations from what I told them, I was about 32 weeks pregnant. I was shocked and couldn’t understand it because I was on contraceptives and according to the nurse that is supposed to prevent pregnancy. At least that’s what I believed.
When I got home I told my grandmother and she was furious and in shock. Why? My body still looked the same as did my weight. She asked me later on, how is it possible that you couldn’t know that? How was I supposed to know if I’m pregnant if there’s was no movement? I felt nothing, nothing at all and I certainly didn’t look like I was pregnant either. If the doctors couldn’t even explain that to me, how on earth was I supposed to explain something like that. Or, the right question would be-why didn’t I even look pregnant.
I still went to work, did first-aid at a life-saving club, did boogie-boarding, dancing every Thursday night with my friends, going on hiking trips right up to a few days before my son was born. After the last hiking trip I insisted that I was going with them to the rock where they always went fishing for our usual dish of the day. That was our ritual after hiking. But, on our way back I jumped out of the rubber ducky to late and it hit my back. It hurt like hell but I stayed and left my usual time with everyone else.
Yes, I was in pain, but, I was fine when I got home. I only started getting contractions on Thursday evening at the jazz club. It was after ten that evening that I told my friends that I wasn’t feeling too good and asked them to take me home. They dropped me off just before eleven and I went straight to the kitchen and made some porridge. I ate and went to bed.
Not longer after that I needed to go to the bathroom but nothing. I think I went more than three times and that’s when my grandmother woke up and asked if I was okay. I told her that I was fine and went back to bed. Somehow she new what was about to take place and when I got up again she phoned my uncle and told him to get there as quickly as possible. He didn’t live close by and it took some time.
In the meantime I went to the bathroom a few times before he got there. She woke my aunt up and told her to get ready to go with me to the hospital. When my uncle got there, we left. We arrived there and she explained to them why. They looked at her…puzzled-like what did you just say? Yes, that’s what they asked. This girl-this girl is pregnant and she’s twenty years old. Say that again-this girl is pregnant?
Yes, not even the nurses and the emergency staff believed my aunt. Why? Because there was nothing showing that that I was pregnant. Absolutely nothing at all. I looked exactly what I looked like most of my teenage life. However, after convincing them to check my records they believed her and booked me in.
I told my aunt not to leave my sight and she didn’t. It was only a few minutes before I gave birth that she was told to leave. My son was born an hour later and I got to see him for the first time. I couldn’t believe that he was alive. Alive and healthy. Everyone was shocked, even me. To think that I was carrying a son and it wasn’t visible to anyone, not even me. For months I didn’t feel anything, seriously nothing. That’s why I could still do and continue my life as normal.
How could I believe the doctors if they couldn’t even explain something like that to me? How was that even possible? But it was and he was alive and healthy. I had to stay in hospital for a few days due to tearing but before I went home my uncle and his wife came to visit us and saw with their own eyes that it was in fact true.
A beautiful healthy son. I fell in love with miracle child that didn’t move. The child that no one couldn’t find, and yet, there he was. My son and I was in awe. How was that even possible? Only God can do miracles like that, and, yes; what a miracle he was. The first great-grandson of the Carolus clan. They loved him dearly.
Oh, how I miss him today. My miracle baby boy, born on the 18th of July 1991. I rarely speak about him because it still hurts too much. Not because I don’t want to, but he was my first gift from God that know one-not even I could’ve imagined. He brought joy to everyone who he came into contact with, leaving laughter and smiles on each face he encountered.
I felt so honored and blessed but also afraid, because I had no clue on how to be a mother and all of this was overwhelming. He was my blessing, after all I did say that my first child would be a son when the teacher asked me that silly question. “Where do you see yourself in the next five years?” My answer was ” I’m going to be a mother of two kids and no husband” yes, it came to pass.
I never knew about the power of the tongue until my aunt explained it to me years later, which by the way was only a few years before my son and granddaughter died in what they called “a freak accident”.
But there’s more
My baby girl she’s another miracle from God. She’s feisty and her courage and energy is something extraordinary. She is a force to be reckoned with and she too, is a precious gift from the Great I AM.
We are HIS special little people. It is awesome to know the one who created us. But there’s one big factor that those people who actually think they can steal our identity and claim that they are us…will never be able to recreate what God has designed. We are so unique that you can’t even imagine what HE put inside of us. God is the only one that was and still is the only one who create master pieces. I can only imagine what follows next.
Yes, my fellow readers and writers…there is way more to us than the naked I can even fathom to see. And yes, there’s way more than we can imagine of how amazing our Creator is possible of doing in our lives.
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