The Hidden Influence of Family, Culture and Experience
Curator’s Note: In this essay, Lawson Wallace reflects on how his upbringing and relationships shaped his identity and life experiences. Throughout his childhood and adolescence, moving frequently due to his father’s military career affected his confidence and actions. He recounts pivotal moments, such as finding acceptance in different social circles and the support of his wife, Olivia, which transformed his outlook. Wallace emphasizes the importance of surrounding oneself with positive influences and rewriting one’s life story, advocating for self-awareness and mental resilience. Ultimately, he inspires readers to take control of their narratives and foster growth.
There’s time to change the road you’re on
When I was spending too much time on social media, I would run across a fading photo from my childhood. I would come across a faded picture of a smiling, fat kid with glasses and wonder if he had any idea what he would become. How much agency did I have?
We adapt to every environment
We all do it without realizing it. Self-awareness is in short supply, especially when we’re young. My dad was in the military. We moved every three or four years. Looking back. I can see where my personality and confidence level changed with the new environments, on the Air Force base in Japan. In my freshman year in high school, a classmate told me that everyone thought I played dumb to get over on people.
During my sophomore year in Rural Texas. Everyone thought I was a freak because I saw more of the world than they ever would in their lives. I was an outsider, so I fit the role. I quit the football team where I wasn’t wanted. I started smoking weed in the restroom where the stoners accepted me.
I was happy, and it showed
The best time was the beginning of my junior year. We moved to Westminster, Colorado. I was well-liked. I had more confidence. The girls liked me, and the weed was better. It lasted six months because my dad got orders to go back to Japan. I was better than I was my freshman year, but it still wasn’t the same as when I was living in Westminster, Colorado.
In each place and in each stage of my life, everyone saw a different Lawson. I wasn’t aware at the time that I was doing this. In my twenties back in the States. I took classes at a Junior college. Where I took a psych course. I learned about the Pygmalion Effect and Self-Fulfilling Prophecies.
I tried to go it alone and failed; we all need someone in our corner
What would have happened? If I had succeeded when I left Japan by myself after graduating from high school? How far would I have gone in life if I had been able to surround myself with successful, positive people?
I met the woman I married on Facebook. I was homeless in Minneapolis. She lived with her family in South Carolina. On September 10, we’re celebrating our ninth anniversary. Olivia supported my dream of being a writer. She paid for the online creative writing class. She also found Medium.com by searching the web.
A life partner who believes in you is priceless
Throughout our marriage, Olivia has encouraged me to see myself getting better physically. She also has done more for my emotional and mental health than any psychologist ever could. I promised her I would attend church with her. Another thing that has enriched my life. I know if I were still in Minneapolis and single, my life wouldn’t be as rich as it is now.
Every stage of my life, someone else wrote the chapter that was me. I’m sixty-six years old. I’m writing my own chapter. I’m a damned good writer. I’m a good husband, not perfect, but Olivia will tell you I’m the best man she’s ever been with. I have a long way to go. I will make good use of the time I have left.
Whose writing your story?
My question for you is this: Whose writing your story? Is it your family, none of whom ever wanted to go to college or left the place where you were, your parents raised you? Is it your friends and coworkers? Folks whose big dreams are about a new fishing boat or trailer? Are those your dreams?
My life is proof you can write your life’s story. I didn’t do it without help, and neither will you. Surround yourself with people who will lift you. I’m in a Slack Community with writers who are more experienced than I am. They continue to help me grow to be the best writer I can be. Without them, my story would still be a dream.
Change your thought patterns and guard your mind
You must change the negative thought patterns. Nothing will change unless you do that. It’s not easy to do on your own. Find a Life-Partner who has your back. Pay attention to the media you consume. You will find that little of it helps you. You might need to get rid of social media or cut down access.
I’m not saying live with blinders on all the time. I’m saying protect your mind and guard your heart.
Final Thought:
My life has been shaped by negative programming. I did it to myself by believing and internalizing what people fed me. In my sixties, I’m rewriting my story. As in any story, there are edits and revisions. It’s a process, but I’m getting better and going farther every day.
Start rewriting your story today.
Lawson Wallace is a freelance writer who specializes in emails, blog posts, Resumes, and cover letters. He can be contacted at lawsonwallacewrites@outlook.com
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Lawson Wallace is a freelance writer who specializes in emails, blog posts, Resumes, and cover letters. He can be contacted at lawsonwallacewrites@outlook.com
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